When people hear “having sex after 50,” they assume that women must have lost all interest or that if they are still sexually active, they’re some kind of unicorn.
The truth? Sex and intimacy do change after 50. Hormones shift, bodies respond differently, and desire might evolve. And instead of being told that these changes are normal, and that there are solutions, most women are left feeling ashamed, guilty, or like something’s wrong with them.
That’s why I was thrilled to join the menOpod: all things fifty + podcast for a bold, unfiltered conversation about what sex really looks like in midlife and beyond.
In this episode, the co-hosts, Eliana and Leora, and I dive into what’s actually happening in bedrooms across the country, and why more women need to hear that they’re not alone. Moreover, we talked about how women can adapt to these changes to enjoy pleasurable and pain-free sex after 50.
Here’s a peek into the interview.
“If I’m Not Hot for My Husband, I Don’t Go to the Doctor. I Go to a Bar…”
One of the podcast hosts told me this in the interview: “I don’t go to the doctor because I’m not hot for my husband. I go to a bar. I go to the doctor when my yeast infection itches.”
As funny (and relatable) as that is for many women out there, it also perfectly sums up a big problem: We’ve been taught that sexual health isn’t real health.
I’m proud to say my patients know that isn’t true. In fact, women travel from all over the country to see me specifically because they want better sex, more comfort, and the ability to enjoy intimacy again.
Thanks to this podcast and many others, more women over 50 are finally hearing the message. Not being “hot” for your partner or feeling pain during intimacy is exactly the kind of thing you should bring up with your doctor.
Low libido, vaginal dryness, or painful sex aren’t things to suffer through. They’re medical. They’re common. And they’re absolutely treatable.
What’s the Bedroom Gap?
The Bedroom Gap is a term I coined to describe a phenomenon I see every day in my work, and it’s finally getting the attention it deserves.
Actually, Oprah’s team reached out to me and said she read about the Bedroom Gap, loved it, and made it her “Word of the Week.” When my book comes out, she even wants to help promote it because she believes this conversation is that important.
So at this point, I don’t need Merriam-Webster or the Oxford Dictionary. If Oprah says it’s a term, it’s a term.
The Bedroom Gap refers to the difference in expectations, abilities, and sexual function that develops between partners as they age. While both men and women experience changes, the impact tends to fall more heavily, and more unfairly, on women.
Why? Because of the massive research gap in women’s health and the ongoing lack of proper education for clinicians about what really happens to women’s bodies and sexual wellbeing after 50.
Solutions like Viagra are only widening this gap. While men have options to maintain erections, many women don’t even know treatments like vaginal estrogen exist, or they’ve been misinformed about their safety and effectiveness.
Want to learn more about how you can close the Bedroom Gap and enjoy sex after 50?
Listen to the full interview or book a free 15-minute call with me. I’d be happy to help you overcome sexual roadblocks and manage your health.
Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice. Always consult your doctor before making any health decisions.